I reckon the X-Ray machine wasn't even switched on, and they just have a drawer full of previous patients' results to show you. Then, when you say "Actually, I broke the ribs on the other side of my chest" they just flip the sheet over on the lightbox and give a sheepish grin: how would you like to pay, sir?
So this explains why I have been walking around clicking and cracking for the last couple of months. The doctors here have said it takes 3-6 months from the injury for them to heal. Not that I'd be diving again within 6 weeks, as Samui International Hospital had told me. I'm not suggesting all Thai hospitals are like this, though. But I should have suspected something like this would happen when the orderlies left me on the stretcher as I arrived, to rifle through my belongings and and bark "VISA? Insurance?" over their shoulders before they gave me any painkillers, or even a bed.
The upshot is that I'm going to rest up at my sister's for a few more weeks before heading for the Philippines. Going home is an option I don't want to think about. So it's more beach, rest and books for the next few weeks. I can manage that. There's not a cloud in the sky, and it's 40 degrees. The home cooking is going down a treat, too. And the simple pleasures in life, denied to me in recent months by pain (belching, farting, laughing...usually in that order), are agony-free once again.
Now...where did I put that cold beer?