Tuesday, 14 July 2009

The Wrong Kind Of Brazillian Action In Buenos Aires

I arrived in Buenos Aires a little surprised at the standards of the airport. The terminal is a little rundown and must date from the 80s, all stained concrete and cracked glass. The disorganised chaos as we embarked was a world away from Europe...people filling out hastily-distributed health forms as the staff eyed us behind supposedly H1-N1-proof surgical masks.

The Arrivals hall wasn't much better. I queued at the only ATM for a while, hoping the cards would work. I got talking to a likeable Irishman behind me, who had no clue where he was due to stay. Ray was on a whistle-stop tour of South America...his itinerary was madness. He's burned his bridges in Australia, and had to be home in a month to meet a container due in Portsmouth. in it was his works van (unpaid for), a Ducati motorbike (on credit) and various other items bought on cards he had no intention of paying back. He'd been in Oz 6 years, and had owned a flat. Getting credit had been easy. I had to laugh, but I don't know how he sleeps at night. We agreed to share a bus into San Telmo, as I told him Jocky had booked me a bed in a hostel which might have more beds. We avoided a Maradona lookalike of a taxi driver who wouldn't leave us alone on the way to the bus terminal. I'd seen enough of the aforementioned cheat on t-shirts and Hand Of God mugs inside the airport. Cheeky bastards. Don't recall seeing many Falklands War commemorative mugs in the duty-free shops at Heathrow?

We arrived at the America Del Sur hostel in San Telmo, an arty, scruffy little district of BA. It's brand-new and very clean. Helpful staff, reasonable prices, a great location and free T'interweb. Couldn't complain. Jocky had, indeed, sorted a room out...and there was space for Ray, though I told him I'd be nailing my belongings to the wall while he was around.

There are plenty of places to eat and drink locally, and the prices are unbelievable. The Argentinians use the dollar sign for their pesos, and we couldn't believe how cheap everything was. Surely the prices were in US Dollars? The best wine on the list was around 4 quid a bottle. Fill yer boots. A tour of the local bars revealed the price of a pint to be around 2 quid. Yes, I think we'll like it here.

BA turned out to be a bit of a DowCarter reunion, DC being an agency myself and Jocky used to work for. A fellow named Hils turned up with him, who works for the company in their current form. The two of them had the funniest tale to tell I'd heard so far...

The lads were sharing a 4-bed dormitory with two quiet lads from Brazil who didn't have much to say for themselves. After a big night out, Jocky and Hils returned at Stupid O'Clock...coherent enough to realise they may disturb their room-mates. They had an idea: best to strip down to their underwear to avoid too much noise and the possibility of waking the lads. So outside in the corridor they removed all their clothes, unlocked the door and silently crept in. Only to be confronted by the sight of one fellow sat on the bottom bunk, his friend naked in front of him with his erect member inserted in his mouth. "Whoaaaa boys!" Jocky shouted. The naked chap jumped in fright, diving into bed. Nothing was said for the rest of the night, the silence only occasionally punctuated by the giggles of Jocky and Hils. Good Times, as he would say...

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